Friday, December 28, 2012


To say this week has been emotional would be the understatement of the century for me.  If you are reading this, you probably already know that Putin (the president of Russia) signed a bill this morning that bans all US adoptions from Russia.  We have known for at least a week that it was probably coming as the other governmental bodies had passed it pretty overwhelmingly, but when I read that he had actually put pen to paper to sign it, I kind of lost it.  It's been looming, but this really makes it real.  Even to write this, it hurts my heart.  We are most definitely not the only family caught in the middle of this, and to be honest, I'm glad we aren't in the situation that 46 other families are it.  Those families are either waiting to get their court date, or have already had and are just waiting the 30 day period to bring their children home.  Those people have all met their children, held them, played with them, probably sang them songs and told them they loved them.  They also probably left them with pictures of the family they would be coming back to and told them that they would be back to get them as soon as they could.  Many of these children are old enough to understand that they didn't come back and it's another loss for a child who has no doubt suffered so much loss already.  These are also most likely children who have been passed over by Russian families for adoption.  I read in one article that one of the families who was part of this 46 was adopting a boy who had been passed over by 22 Russian families before they were given the opportunity to give him a family.  What does this ban do for him?  I shudder to think....

At this point, we are kind of in limbo.  This has happened in the past where Russia has put a ban on adoptions only to lift it 6 months later.  We are hoping and praying that it will be lifted again when they realize what a horribly childish decision this was in retaliation of the US government.  I just have a hard time figuring out how any logical person could think it was reasonable to punish these children...let's really show the US, let's steal the chance for a family from the most unfortunate beings in our country...makes absolutely no sense.  Jeremy and I both so strongly believe that our daughter is in Russia that right now, we wait.  I have done some research on other programs and countries, but they just don't feel right to me.  We both agree that this is where we have been led, and that until we get other instructions, this is where we will stay.  It is devastating to think of what might happen, but we cannot give up on her, or our chance to be her parents.

Thank you for all of the prayers and support you have given me during this time.  I truly, truly can feel them.  I'm certain that is the only reason that I'm not completely breaking down.  I have a sense of peace that this is going to work.  Of course, my heart is breaking over the fact that we are going to have to spend even more time away from our daughter and she will be spending more time away from the love of a family.  But, I believe that my God has led me to this exact point, and I trust that he will lead me out of this.  If anyone can change the hearts of the people making these decisions, it's Him, and Him alone.  There is nothing that I can do to change anyone's mind.  I've written to the president, secretary of state, my congressmen, and signed petitions, and I believe that anything I can do is something, but I also know that for things to change is going to have to come from Him.  So, I will continue to get on my knees and pray.  I ask that you will continue to pray for all of this, and most importantly, pray for our little girl somewhere and that she is safe and can somehow know that someone very far away loves her more than she can know.  This is truly my "mantra" for the past week or so:
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  Then you will call upon me and I will listen to you"
Jeremiah 29:11-12

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