Sunday, October 28, 2012


Again my good plans for doing one thing turned into writing this blog.  I had good intentions of going to bed, but just couldn't stop thinking about what I saw this weekend.  First, on Saturday, friends of ours from church came home with their beautiful new daughter from Ecuador.  We weren't able to make it to the airport to welcome them home, but the pictures I saw online were incredible.  Of course it made me think of the day that we will get to do that with our daughter and it really is overwhelming to think about.  This afternoon, we had a little baby shower for the parents of the beautiful babies I carried and I saw two new parents who have settled into this incredible new life as parents so well that it really is amazing to see.  Talk about a change in life.  From no children to newborn awesome.  I also saw amazing women and mothers that started as my friends, have now become friends of theirs too, so there is an international connection now between the Carolinas and Holland, also awesome!  Girls, I do see a Flamingos take Europe trip!!!

That was not the end of my amazing sights this weekend!  We headed to trunks and treats tonight and more awesome things.  I saw the newest adopted daughter of our friends dressed up and having fun with her new family and many other kids.  I know that obviously she is not totally adjusted in one day, but how incredible to see her having fun in this totally new place with all new people and all new words and just new life in general.  As I looked around, I noticed another friend with her adopted daughter from Ecuador also, and another church member with an adopted son from the US, and yet another church member with her two adopted children.  I also saw another family that is in the process of adopting and know who their daughter is, but haven't been able to bring her home yet just because of the long process with their country.  Not only are there so many stories like this, but there are also many that I don't know.  I know there are other families in the process of adopting, and I'm sure even more that are thinking and praying about it, and that is also so incredible to me.

I think that the most amazing thing to me is that there are so many ways to make a family.   And, there are so many kinds of families.  I feel like I have been so blessed to be able to help add to and start families with being a surrogate.  What an amazing thing to be able to do....I honestly just can't explain how that feels.  But, I also feel like I have been a part of creating a family of friends as well and connecting the US and Holland.  Now, we get a chance to add again to our family but in a very different way than we have before.  It's still very surreal to me, but we have our paperwork in Russia as I type and are being registered in the region we are adopting from.  Once we are regiestered, they are saying we should have our referrral and travel on our first trip within 6 months.  When that day comes, I'm not even sure what we will do!!  So amazing....

Monday, October 15, 2012


I had good intentions of sitting here during the boys' Tae Kwon Do class and doing my school work.  Unfortunately I forgot the ear buds to listen to lectures and I forgot my notes to do my assignment.  Apparently I wasn't meant to do that here tonight.  So, I figured since I had some extra time I would write here.  I have been thinking about this post for a week or two after hearing a song on the radio.  I honestly don't know who sings it, but in the song they sing, "we were meant to be courageous".  I started thinking about that a little.  I have had a few people tell me that I was courageous in doing the surrogacy, but I never really thought of it that way.  I've said before that I really just feel like I was doing what I was supposed to do.  I think that there are so many people in my life that I look at as being so courageous.  I personally think that the "normal" things in life really take more courage than we ever really think about.
   I think of two of my closest friends who have chosen to be a stay at home mom (you know who you are), and I really think they is amazing.  The choice to stay home is not an easy one when you consider having to make sacrifices because of money, time and everything else that being home with your children involves.  I have said before that I know I couldn't be a stay at home mom, but I think that it really takes a huge amount of courage to trust that is the right decision for your family.  It also takes a huge amount of courage to handle criticism that may come from different places about being a stay at home mom.  I don't think that anyone can argue that raising children is the most important job that there is.
    On the flip side of that, I have very close friends that have chosen to be working moms, and I know how much courage that takes as well.  The balance between having a family and a career is very delicate, and most days you feel like you are constantly neglecting something.  When you are at work, you worry about what the kids are doing, and when you are with the kids, you are thinking about work that needs to be done.  But, I know that for many women, it's the right decision to work, and it takes courage to follow that decision.  There is also criticism that comes with this decision, from many places, and there is guilt that comes with being a working mom. 
   I see courage in so many places, every day.  I see it in my kids when they go to school, make new friends, try new things, and learn new things everyday.  I look at Noah who just started kindergarten, and how many new things that happen everyday and how he handles it with courage, even though I know he was scared.  I see it in my parents who have been through so much with illnesses and just life in general but still have so much faith and trust that everything is as it should be.  The courage is amazing to make marriage and life work for so long.  I see it in the parents of the beautiful babies I had the privledge to carry.  To be able to trust someone who is pretty much a stranger with their most precious gift they have ever had is incredible.  What amazing courage to know that someone is carrying your children thousands of miles away and not completely losing your mind!  I had a hard time leaving the boys at daycare, so I can't imagine what kind of courage that must have taken.  Not to mention the courage that so many of my friends have had to make the decision to have children.  Talk about be responsible for these amazing little lives takes more courge than I think any of us ever thought we had! It's the courage to be willing to make mistakes, and to make hard and even seemingly impossible decisions, never knowing if what you are doing is right, or if it is something they will talk about in therapy one day!
   Regular real life takes courage every day.  It takes courage to trust that what you are doing and what direction you are going is the right way.  It takes courage to take a chance and try something new, to start a new job, to accept a promotion, and to make those hard decisions.  I am amaazed every day at the courage that I have around me and try to remember how much courage "normal" life takes!