Saturday, September 29, 2012

What a difference a day makes!

Wow...what  a crazy 36 hours it has been!  Yesterday morning I was seriously on edge and worried for my mental health!  I was feeling pretty bad with high blood pressure and swelling unlike anything I had ever seen.  To say I was miserable was the understatement of the year.  Not to metion the fact that anyone who came into contact with me was pretty much doomed to be miserable too.  So let me just say to anyone that happened to cross my path...I'm sorry....I have no good excuse, so I'll just say sorry and leave it at that. 
Anyway, today is a new day, and the babies are here and beautiful and doing well.  As miserable as I was, it is so worth it in the end to be able to help them become parents.  I ended up with a c-section, which was not my first choice, but I can't wasn't as horrible as I thought it was going to be.  I feel pretty good already.  The best part is, I've lost 18 pounds already!! Now, granted, it's a different scale, but even so, that's pretty good!  I'm moving around better than I thought I would be, but I'm more tired than I thought I would be.  Guess all of this stuff takes it out of you!  I have to give kudos to all of the staff here at CMC-Pineville, they have been awesome and really could not have taken better care of me. 
So, fingers crossed I may get to go home tomorrow, assuming that my blood pressure behaves!  I'm ready to get back to normal life (well, normal for us anyway).  I'm most excited that I can now actually reach my feet again...pretty exciting after the last few weeks!

Saturday, September 22, 2012

This was not my plan....

Well, things don't always seem to go as planned, no matter how much I fight for them to!  I was 33 weeks and 6 days pregant yesterday and started having some pretty decent contractions and had a Dr appt scheduled anyway, so went in for that around lunch.  The first bad news came before I even saw the doctor...high blood pressure and protein in my urine (which shouldn't be there).  Then came the A (the girl) has decided to flip around and be breech.  That means they get to come out via worst, I had a bit of a freak out in the Dr office, but have come to terms with it and realize that I just have to deal with it.  So, from the Dr office, I headed to the hospital for labs and monitoring... and here I sit a day later on mag sulfate (for the BP), bedrest for the most part, and after no food all day yesterday I did get to have some oatmeal and coffee this morning.   I've had the pleasure of a shot to hopefully stop contractions (which burns, and didn't work), and then the first of the steroid shots (which do more than burn...ouch) that will help the babies' lung mature.  I'll get another this afternoon and then the plan is that 24 hours after that they will do the c-section to deliver. 

So....that's my plan for the next two days....not at all what I thought I would be doing...but then when is it ever??  My parents have come up to stay with the boys, so I know they are in good hands, so that's one less thing to worry about!  I know that I need to be here and getting the meds for all of us to be as healthy and safe as possible, but it does other way around that.  Good news is that the parents are on the way and should be here by tonight and hopefully the plan continues and they will be here when the babies' arrive.  So, all is good, but I would ask for prayers for a c-section which is honestly terrifying for me, and that the babies are as healthy as can be.  I know we are all in good hands, and feel very safe being here where we need to be.  And, prayers for the parents for safe travels as they are on their way over right now.

Friday, September 14, 2012

How did I end up here?

To me, my life is completely normal, but I do realize that from the outside our family is fairly unique and our situation is probably one that most people wouldn't understand or maybe even want.  So, I've started thinking, how did I end up here, in this situation, in this moment in time?  I've always believed that there are no accidents and that EVERYTHING happens for a reason.  And, of course, like most of us, I have that 20/20 hindsight to be able to look back and say, thank you God for making that happen, even if at the time it was devastating.  So many things I have been through have been life changing and I am so thankful for that. 

So many years ago in college, I really thought that I could see the path I was on, from the guy I was dating to the things I was studying.  After making a huge move, everything changed, and my life was never the same again.  At the time I was devastated and thought that my life would never recover.  Amazingly, and with some time and prayers from many people, I of course did recover and moved past it and was able to put things back together.  This was when I think my real life really started.  I started nursing school, met Jeremy and started "trying" to act like a grown up!

I can't even begin to explain what meeting Jeremy did in my life.  Somehow this little Catholic girl ended up becoming a part of a Baptist church family and that has really made all the difference in my life.  That is what really started me on this crazy path that I am on.  I think that it doesn't seem so crazy because I can feel that all of this is what I'm supposed to be doing, and that is how I have managed to make it through everything without going crazy.  I feel at peace with things that many people see as strange and just don't understand.  I also know that most husbands wouldn't handle all of these things we have been through like Jeremy has.  I have said before that I know for a fact that he was put into my life for a reason, I couldn't do this with anyone else, and no one else would be as supportive as him in all of this. 

So I guess how I ended up here, pregnant with twins that aren't mine and about to deliver, in the process of trying to adopt a little girl from halfway around the world, working fulltime as a nurse, and going to graduate school fullt time, oh and taking care of two amazing and crazy little boys that are the most incredible kids I have even known, and trying to be a wife to the most amazing husband I have ever is where I am, and I couldn't have it any other way.  It's busy, it's crazy, and it's scary at times, but it couldn't be better.  I think I ended up here because I have been able to take a chance and say, okay, this is what I think I'm being called to do, so this is what I'm going to do!  It is truly amazing what can happen when you just decide to go with it and trust that it will work like its going to!!