So tomorrow is Mother's Day....a day to thank all of those mothers, women who have acted like mothers to us, and really all of those women who have inspired us to become better people. I truly cannot begin to name all of the amazing women who have touched my life, but as I look back, I can see that each one of them was different and each one of them was able to teach me something about who I want to be as a woman, wife, and mother. I have had the amazing opportunity to have stay at home moms, working moms, overworking moms, going to school mom, overacheiving moms, and a little bit of everything in between. How lucky have I been!!
So this week I had a little mom identity crisis. I have chosen (for more than one reason) to be a working mom. It is never an easy choice, but after some breakdown, I know it is the best thing for our family. However, each time I hear of another mother making the decision to stay at home with her children, I have to wonder....am I doing the right thing? Are my children going to feel the brunt of me wanting to work outside the house? I struggle with that. I also struggle with trying to balance work and kids and making sure that the right priorities are there. I must say, I love the fact that I work, and I love the fact that I have something that I can call my own, and maybe that is selfish...I don't know. I like that people know me as, Stacey, and not just Gavin and Noah's mom. Dont get me wrong, I am amazingly proud to be called their mother and think of it as my greatest accomplishment that they have made it this far without any of us going crazy!! But, I also like that I also have the title of RN, and that I can be looked at as also contributing that way.
So...that's one reason I like to work outside the home....the other is that I'm fairly certain that I would be a terrible mother and frustrated beyond belief and would probably want to lose it on a daily basis if I was home with the boys all day. I love them, but I know they learn so much more by going to daycare and spending time with other kids and with the teachers there that actually try to teach them something. I'm also pretty convinced that they are smarter for that. I know myself and know that I wouldn't teach them nearly as much as they do. But...shouldn't I WANT to stay at home with my children??? That's the question I struggle with. I guess that question doesn't matter as much at this point with Noah starting KG in the fall...but I will say that my job now is giving me a little more balance with all of it. In the fall the boys should be able to ride the bus home and I will be here to meet them, which gives me a little piece of the stay at home mom thing. I guess this is a question lots of women deal with, I'm sure I'm not the only one!
I suppose that I really should consider myself lucky that I have the choice to do what I feel is best for our family. I have so much respect for moms that do decide staying at home is right for them. I know that I would probably go crazy, so I bow down to you and your awesome stay at home sanity!! I also have so much respect for those working moms who keep everything balanced and manage so many things. I am constantly amazed at what moms keep up with every day, you are AMAZING!!! I am proud to group myself as a mom. Some of the most incredible people I am privledged to know are the mothers I have known in the past and know now. Thank you for being amazing and doing the most important job in the world. Love you all!!!