Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Already crazy...

I want to go ahead and apologize to everyone who knows me.  I already can see that this waiting thing with the adoption is not going to go well for me.  If you know me, you know that patience isn't my strongest quality, and this is the biggest test I think I have ever had.  This is also a lesson that I've been smacked with on several would think I would have learned by now...but no luck there!  I really thought with as busy as I am that time would just sail by and that I would look up one day  and say, "wow, it's been a few months, hope that referral comes soon for the adoption"....right.....who was I kidding??  I find myself sitting at my computer for work and getting anxious with every phone call and email that I get thinking, "this could be it".  Did I mention that our paperwork has only been registered in Russia for a month?  Yeah, from what I have heard/read it normally takes a couple of months even to get a referral so I'm sure we have some waiting to do.  I really am trying to trust that the plan He has for us is perfect, and that his timing is perfect, but I can't help but think that my plan is pretty good too :)  I have been reading blogs all night in hopes that I could find one with a time line for the process that is closer to what I think it should be.  Guess what, doesn't look like it happens that fast for matter how much they want it to!

I am excited for Christmas coming, and am hoping that a short break from school and getting ready for Christmas will take my mind off of things.  Santa is planning to bring her a gift, and I'm sure that will feel a little bittersweet on Christmas morning.  I know that the boys are excited too, a parent of a child from Gavin's class asked the other day if we were adopting because her son came home saying that Gavin had been talking about it.  I love that he is so excited about it!  Noah doesn't talk about it much, except that he's sure they will have to watch "girl shows" when she gets here and he's not really happy about that!  We did find out that one of Noah's classmates is Russian and her mom is from Russia, and they only speak Russian in their house.  I contacted her and we are going to try to get together.  I can't wait to get some insight into the life and culture that comes from another human being instead of from a book! 

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and I am overwhelmed by how much we have to be thankful for.  I just look around and listen in my house as the boys are playing and laughing, as Jeremy is playing with them, or as we are just laying on the couch watching cartoons.  It is so incredible to look at the life I have been given.  Amazing family, amazing friends, amazing community.  I could not ask for more...well, except for a short wait to meet our baby girl!!  I found this tonight on a blog I was reading and had to borrow it.  For anyone who has or who is adopting, I think this will really hit your heart.

A letter to you
Once there were two women who never knew each other, One you do not remember, the other you call Mother, Two different lives shaped to make you one, One became your guiding star, the other became your sun, The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it, The first gave you a need for love, the second was there to give it, One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a nameOne gave you a talent, the other gave you aim, One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears, One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried you tears, One made an adoption plan, that was all that she could do, The other prayed for a child, and God led her straight to you. Now, which of these two women, Are you the product of? Both, my darling, Both, Just two different types of love.---- Unknown 

Happy Thanksgiving!!

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