Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Blowing in the Wind

I'm sitting here in a very quiet house, which if you know me, doesn't happen very often.  Jeremy is at the Orange Bowl (Go Tigers!), and the boys have finally given in and gone to sleep.  I tend to get really sentimental during these times if I don't keep myself busy, so here I am.  I did a little school work, but that doesn't really start until next week, so I figured I would post something brilliant here to keep my mind working...or keep my mind from going pick!

So then the question becomes, what to write about?  I'll be honest, I can't write about the adoption stuff right now because I'm a little nervous, scared, and worried about it and don't want to get into it.  Guess that leaves some of the surrogacy stuff.  We are on track to do the transfer (which is the IVF) around the first half of February, which will put me due around the end of October.  Good planning, I know...pregnant over the SC...awesome.  Other times that I have been a surrogate I have gotten some really great questions about the whole process an how things work.  People get really curious when they ask you what you are having and you tell them, "2 girls, but they aren't mine".  Another good one is when they ask Jeremy when the baby is due and he tells them, "I think in January, but they aren't my babies"  It's lots of fun. 

So if you are one of those people who is wondering about how it works, here it goes:  (for those of you who couldn't care less, you can stop here :)  First, you have to know the lingo.  I am considered the "gestational carrier", the parents that will be getting the baby(ies) are the Intended Parents, or "IP's".  The transfer is what its called when we do the IVF to get pregnant (no, no turkey basters here!).  In my case, I do not use my own eggs.  Some do that, but that wasn't something that we thought was a good idea.  Pretty sure it would make it a little harder to use my eggs, carry that baby, then give it away...not good for my mommy sanity!  That being said, since it's all artificial for me, I get to take lots of drugs before, during and after that trasfer so that it will work.  Big needles, not big fun...but I'm tough so it's all good.  But wait, I haven't even told you how we get to this part...let me back up!  First, I had to go through lots of testing, medical, psychological, etc before I could get approved to do this.  Then, they work to match me with couples that have the same views on things, then you decide if they are a fit on paper (sometimes the first try, sometimes you go through a few), and after both sides are good you can talk on the phone.  If that goes well, then you can meet in person.  Talk about nervous!  You are meeting them for the first time and deciding if you would like to carry their baby...awkward...If you are lucky (like I was) you hit it off, talk for hours, and feel like you have been friends forever and have no doubts.  If not...well then there are decisions to make.

So then the rest is history.  You have a normal pregnancy, deliver some babies and go back to life as usual. think there could be more to that?  Well, I have to say, it's hard to put into words being able to see someone with their babies they have been waiting for so long for and knowing that you helped them get there.  I will have to tell the story of the most amazing moment that I had through all of this.  I'm not sure if they remember this, but the first  couple wasn't able to make it to the delivery, so Jeremy and I were lucky enough to get to hold them, feed them, and just spend some time with those beautiful girls before they got there (we got to do that after too, I just remember this best).  When they got there, both girls were swaddled and under the warmer sleeping.  Their first daughter was born very early and had to be in NICU for a while so at first they didn't get that awesome baby snuggle time with her right away.  When they came into the room they both just stared at those girls and didn't make a move to pick them up.  I remember saying, "you can pick them up you know" and instantly the tears started flowing everywhere.  It was amazing and one of the best moments of my life!!!

Well, I didn't really plan for that to be such a little emotional love fest, but I thought I would share why I do what I do.  We have been unmeasurably blessed, and I can't even imagine not being able to have the joy (yes, I said joy) of pregnancy and the wonder of motherhood.  What else can make you want to cry for 50 different reasons in an hour than kids?  I feel very blessed that I can help someone else experience what I have. 

Thanks again for being here, I really appreciate being able to put this all on paper.  Sorry for all the spelling and grammar errors, have to save my smart juice for school!  Have a happy and blessed day!


  1. So glad I can get a closer look into the tornado! I love your blog! Dr. Wilcox would be proud ;) (Asshole that he was).

    Congrats on the next wave of IVF and the adoption journey. I especially can't wait to hear more about what led you to consider adoption. What planted the seed? Why Russia?

    BTW, have you ever considered writing a book about IVF? I bet there are tons of couples out there who would love to know more about it.

    On a side note, I miss you! Give my love to Jeremy!

  2. Erin-I'm not so sure Wilcox would be proud of all my bad grammar!! I will have to put up a post one of these days to answer those questions...
    You know I'm not a writer and could never write a book...the writing thing is your deal!!
    We miss you too. It would be great to get to see you again. Tood bad this time I'm not traveling to CT for the IVF. Jeremy says hey and he misses you too!