Finally....

There is something that has been weighing on me lately, and I feel like I need to get it out.  If you are reading this, there is a good chance that you have read before, and you know that I have had the privilege of carrying three gorgeous sets of twins for three couples.  Each experience was different in its own way, but this last time was especially unique (and not because I had kankles like no one had ever seen!).  This last time, I got to help make a family for a gay couple....two amazing men who are now amazing daddies.
 Phew, I said it...not sure why I have taken so long to do this.  When we started on this last journey, we decided that we would consider a gay couple, but only on a case by case basis on how we got along with them.  Well, one dinner at Cowfish, and we were sold.  They are truly an amazing couple, and I can honestly say that those two kids will grow up with so much love that they won't know what to do!  So, I guess the only question is, why haven't I done this before?  Why did I feel the need to keep this from some others?  I guess because I am a Christian.  I think that there are so many Christians who don't accept the gay lifestyle, but I don't get that.  Why can't we love all people?  If you say that as a Christian we should follow all of the teachings of the Bible exactly, then we are all surely missing the mark...by far!  Why is this the teaching that you choose to fight with?  Why is this the thing that you decide is such an ultimate sin?  I think that we are called to love all people, not tolerate all people, and then love those that think like us.  I tried to keep the fact that I was carrying children for two men to only fairly close friends and family, mainly so I wouldn't cause some sort of uproar with many people in my church.  But, I am done with that.  I am proud of the fact that I helped to make a family that will grow in love and that they will have two parents that will teach them, accept them, and help them to become the kind of people that we should all strive to be. 
With all of the talk about gay marriage, I can't help but think, why can't marriage just be between two people who love each other?  Why do we feel the need to have control over  happiness for others?  Here is something that I know:  Happy people do not do horrible acts, they do not kill people, they do not abuse children, they do not rob banks.  They live happy lives with people they love and raise well-adjusted and happy children.  GASP!!!  How horrible!!!  Why should I as a straight person have more or different rights than a person who chooses (or just happens to) love a person of the same sex.  If you think about it, it's really just ridiculous. 
So, there it is.  Some of you wouldn't agree with what we chose to do, but then that's okay.  I know that my closest friends embraced me and "the guys" and I will forever be truly thankful for amazing friends that will accept people where they are and love them for who they are.  I will also forever be truly grateful for the lives I have been able to touch by helping them to have a family, whether it looks just like mine or not. 

Learning

Just wanted to post an update about where things are.  It has been around a month since we officially made the decision to move on to the China special needs program, and I think I am finally letting myself get excited about the prospect of still being able to get our little girl home.  I have been going through the motions to get everything done, but just in the past couple of weeks I have really started to let my heart get involved, and it is really good to be more excited than nervous again.  I know that we will come out of this better in the end, because to tell the truth I can already see so many things that it is teaching me.  Right now we have pretty much all of our paperwork for China together and we are waiting for our new home study to be completed, which (fingers crossed) will be finished within about two weeks or so.  When that is done, hopefully we can get everything on the way to China within a couple of weeks after that.  My goal is by the end of March, but right now it's out of our hands (but really, isn't it always!), and really we are waiting for clearances from other states and things for the home study.  So much like we seem like we have been doing for so long now...we wait...and I am reminded again that "wait" is an action verb...and a very hard one to handle!

It's amazing to me that many of the things I have learned have been through the boys.  I say amazing, but really they teach me so much everyday I shouldn't be surprised!  I love that they have such pure and loving thinking, and they aren't yet scarred by life experiences.  They talked about Lainey pretty much every day, and to them, she is their sister...truly doesn't matter where she comes from.  We did have a rough night when we first told them that we wouldn't be able to get her from Russia.  Noah had such a hard time and literally broke down crying because he wanted to know what would happen to all of those children in Russia who didn't have mommies and daddies.  He and I cried together at the dinner table that night about that.  It amazes me that he cares so much and that at 6 years old he can think so far outside himself.  It is so hard to have those conversations with them, but we have all grown from them.  This whole process has given us incredible opportunities to talk about things that probably wouldn't come up otherwise.  We talked the other night about how in many countries that it can be illegal to practice Christianity, and that people are put in jail because they are trying to share Jesus.  To them, this is all they know and this has brought a whole new world to them.  I don't want to scare them, but I do think it gives them a more thankful spirit about all that we have.  We have already talked about doing mission trips to help children in orphanages when they get a little older, and it couldn't make me happier to know that they want to do everything they can.  I never would have thought that this process would have led to so much growth for our family. 

I was wearing an adoption shirt the other day and they both told me they wanted one so they could be reminded of Lainey whenever they wore it!  They were so excited this weekend because we ordered them t-shirts that say Ge-Ge, written in Chinese, which means big brother.  I love that they already consider themselves her big brother.  I'm so blessed already, and I can't even imagine how much more blessed I will be with an addition to our family.  This has been a rough journey, but being able to look back already and see where we have come makes me know that when we get her home it will be more than we can even imagine!!!