I had good intentions of sitting here during the boys' Tae Kwon Do class and doing my school work. Unfortunately I forgot the ear buds to listen to lectures and I forgot my notes to do my assignment. Apparently I wasn't meant to do that here tonight. So, I figured since I had some extra time I would write here. I have been thinking about this post for a week or two after hearing a song on the radio. I honestly don't know who sings it, but in the song they sing, "we were meant to be courageous". I started thinking about that a little. I have had a few people tell me that I was courageous in doing the surrogacy, but I never really thought of it that way. I've said before that I really just feel like I was doing what I was supposed to do. I think that there are so many people in my life that I look at as being so courageous. I personally think that the "normal" things in life really take more courage than we ever really think about.
I think of two of my closest friends who have chosen to be a stay at home mom (you know who you are), and I really think they is amazing. The choice to stay home is not an easy one when you consider having to make sacrifices because of money, time and everything else that being home with your children involves. I have said before that I know I couldn't be a stay at home mom, but I think that it really takes a huge amount of courage to trust that is the right decision for your family. It also takes a huge amount of courage to handle criticism that may come from different places about being a stay at home mom. I don't think that anyone can argue that raising children is the most important job that there is.
On the flip side of that, I have very close friends that have chosen to be working moms, and I know how much courage that takes as well. The balance between having a family and a career is very delicate, and most days you feel like you are constantly neglecting something. When you are at work, you worry about what the kids are doing, and when you are with the kids, you are thinking about work that needs to be done. But, I know that for many women, it's the right decision to work, and it takes courage to follow that decision. There is also criticism that comes with this decision, from many places, and there is guilt that comes with being a working mom.
I see courage in so many places, every day. I see it in my kids when they go to school, make new friends, try new things, and learn new things everyday. I look at Noah who just started kindergarten, and how many new things that happen everyday and how he handles it with courage, even though I know he was scared. I see it in my parents who have been through so much with illnesses and just life in general but still have so much faith and trust that everything is as it should be. The courage is amazing to make marriage and life work for so long. I see it in the parents of the beautiful babies I had the privledge to carry. To be able to trust someone who is pretty much a stranger with their most precious gift they have ever had is incredible. What amazing courage to know that someone is carrying your children thousands of miles away and not completely losing your mind! I had a hard time leaving the boys at daycare, so I can't imagine what kind of courage that must have taken. Not to mention the courage that so many of my friends have had to make the decision to have children. Talk about scary...to be responsible for these amazing little lives takes more courge than I think any of us ever thought we had! It's the courage to be willing to make mistakes, and to make hard and even seemingly impossible decisions, never knowing if what you are doing is right, or if it is something they will talk about in therapy one day!
Regular real life takes courage every day. It takes courage to trust that what you are doing and what direction you are going is the right way. It takes courage to take a chance and try something new, to start a new job, to accept a promotion, and to make those hard decisions. I am amaazed every day at the courage that I have around me and try to remember how much courage "normal" life takes!