Friday, September 14, 2012

How did I end up here?

To me, my life is completely normal, but I do realize that from the outside our family is fairly unique and our situation is probably one that most people wouldn't understand or maybe even want.  So, I've started thinking, how did I end up here, in this situation, in this moment in time?  I've always believed that there are no accidents and that EVERYTHING happens for a reason.  And, of course, like most of us, I have that 20/20 hindsight to be able to look back and say, thank you God for making that happen, even if at the time it was devastating.  So many things I have been through have been life changing and I am so thankful for that. 

So many years ago in college, I really thought that I could see the path I was on, from the guy I was dating to the things I was studying.  After making a huge move, everything changed, and my life was never the same again.  At the time I was devastated and thought that my life would never recover.  Amazingly, and with some time and prayers from many people, I of course did recover and moved past it and was able to put things back together.  This was when I think my real life really started.  I started nursing school, met Jeremy and started "trying" to act like a grown up!

I can't even begin to explain what meeting Jeremy did in my life.  Somehow this little Catholic girl ended up becoming a part of a Baptist church family and that has really made all the difference in my life.  That is what really started me on this crazy path that I am on.  I think that it doesn't seem so crazy because I can feel that all of this is what I'm supposed to be doing, and that is how I have managed to make it through everything without going crazy.  I feel at peace with things that many people see as strange and just don't understand.  I also know that most husbands wouldn't handle all of these things we have been through like Jeremy has.  I have said before that I know for a fact that he was put into my life for a reason, I couldn't do this with anyone else, and no one else would be as supportive as him in all of this. 

So I guess how I ended up here, pregnant with twins that aren't mine and about to deliver, in the process of trying to adopt a little girl from halfway around the world, working fulltime as a nurse, and going to graduate school fullt time, oh and taking care of two amazing and crazy little boys that are the most incredible kids I have even known, and trying to be a wife to the most amazing husband I have ever is where I am, and I couldn't have it any other way.  It's busy, it's crazy, and it's scary at times, but it couldn't be better.  I think I ended up here because I have been able to take a chance and say, okay, this is what I think I'm being called to do, so this is what I'm going to do!  It is truly amazing what can happen when you just decide to go with it and trust that it will work like its going to!!

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